No matter what household you grow up in that is what “normal” looks like to you for a very long time. My mother has narcissistic personality disorder, so I get it. I even wrote a book about my healing journey. I was in my 30s before I realized that my mother is nuts and that there is nothing I can do that she will ever approve of, and that’s not my fault. Parents are GODS to children. And if you toxic parents, then you have toxic gods — and probably a toxic spiritual daddy in the sky, too. The first thing you have to do as an adult is dethrone those gods and start seeing them as the fallible people they are. So good for you. You’ve done a lot of the hard work already. I’ve got to say, I couldn’t live with my mother. I had to cut off my parents and my entire family. I did this for me and my family. For our safety and our sanity. I don’t regret it. This choice is not for everyone, but sometimes it’s the only good one.